Having Big Furry Webed Feet

Having Big Furry Webed Feet
A Big Plus in The Water
Float on Mud
Hell on Carpet

White Guys Can't Drive

Heaven To Me
Is Ridin in a Pickup Truck
Our Hired Hand Drove us Around
Incompetent,But Driving None The Less
One Day
Sittin in The Cab with The Hired Hand
He's Shiftin The 4 Speed - Real Pickup Truck Gotta have
I'm Watchin
1-2-3-4 Got It
The Hired Hand said
We're in 4th & We`re Rollin
Cool, Great Plan - Works for Me
Got Me Head out The Window
Suddenly We`re Slowin Down
I look & He`s Reversing the Shift Pattern
4-3-2-1 Stop
I Think, Is There a Problem
This Same Scene Repeats Itself 20 Times
I`m Gettin a Bit Frustrated
He Does it Again
And Gets to 4th & We`re Rollin
4th = Rollin = All`s Good
Is That Difficult to Understand White Boy
Noooooooooo, He`s Doing it Again
This Continued My whole Life
He Never Got It
My Conclusion
White Guys Can`t Drive

The Prima Donna

I`m a Newfie Dog
That Grew Up on the Canadian Prairie
So, I Knew about Hockey
It`s in My Roots
I Wandered onto the Ice
At an Outdoor Rink
Guys playing Hockey
Things didn`t Go as I Thought
No Traction
When you Have Feet The Size of Cow Patties
You Don`t Skate - You Slide
I Made it To The Goal
And Looked Around
Before I Knew it
I Was Looking at The Sky
I Hear
Get off The Ice you Mangy Mutt
He Had Swept My Feet from under Me
He Skated Away Laughing
Back on My Feet
I Then Sat Down
No Use Standing When You Can Sit
And Watched
He was Dippsy Doodling Up And Down The Ice
I Started My Move
Tryin To Pick up Speed
He Was Admiring His Puck Handling Skills
Head Down
I Made My Move
And Caught Him Right at The Knees
Hip Check
Sending Him Tumbling Over
And Landing on His Back
Knocking The Wind Out of Him
All His Buddies were Laughing
Sayin - The Mutt took You Out
As I Slid Off The Ice
I Looked Back and Thought
Hey Prima Donna Hockey Player Guy
Keep Your Head Up Next Time.